It had been 3 weeks since my last counselling session when I saw Zoe this week. I'd really missed our sessions and had found myself mentally listing the things I wanted to talk to her about inbetween them.
This week, we discussed how I was feeling about everything we've covered so far and whether or not I am finding the counselling sessions beneficial. I explained to Zoe that I'm feeling better in myself and I'm feeling like I'm beginning to prioritise myself and my needs. She asked me how I'd like our sessions to progress and I pointed out that I'd noticed patterns in my mental health since having PND. I have suffered with depression in the past and can't help but notice similar themes.
In light of this, next week we're going to be creating a genogram. After googling, having never heard of a genogram before, I've discovered it's a bit like a map of your past and present relationships; the idea is that you pinpoint the impact they've had on you, whilst looking for patterns that may indicate reasons for your psychological state.
I'm looking forward to getting creative next week and looking at details of my life in black and white. I need to break this pattern for my own sanity and for my Daughter; she deserves a happy, content and secure Mummy. I'm determined to be a consistently positive presence in her life, hopefully once I've pinpointed my triggers, I'll be able to find a way of changing how I react to them. I'll let you know how it goes!
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