The first time I met Zoe, I told her how vulnerable I'd felt when I was pregnant and how it had impacted on the way I relate to others. I felt I'd become mute, a shadow of myself, forgetting my own feelings to fulfil the egos and desires of other people.
I told her that I needed counselling to fix this, for my Daughter's sake. I didn't want her to see me like this and I certainly didn't want her to become it. I wanted to become more assertive, I needed to stop pleasing everyone else.
As I talked during that first session, Zoe pointed out several occasions where I had been assertive in recent months. She told me there was no need to 'fix' anything, I just needed to find my voice again, which was still there somewhere.
This week, as an outcome of feeling utterly disappointed with an aspect of my life, I made a decision. One that is to benefit me primarily, but one that will no doubt benefit my Daughter. I've had to be assertive to make it work and I have to be assertive to carry it forward. Zoe told me she was proud of me, I'm finally beginning to see me as important and that's progress!
My friend, K, who also had a counselling session joined me at the quirky cafè again afterwards. I broke my diet again and ate a chicken and mozzarella panini and the home made victoria sponge was also too much to resist! I guess I was celebrating; feeling like I'm becoming Me again is liberating.
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