Closer than we think

My integration back into work has begun and baby H has started nursery.

I thought I'd be glad to be back in the routine of working life, being someone other than Mum and working part-time would give me the opportunity to still enjoy my days with baby H. Becoming Mum wasn't an easy transition for me, so going back to my working self was going to be easy-ish.

Leaving my baby at nursery whilst she cries for me has been one of the hardest trials of motherhood for me so far, finding the time to prepare my workload for my return has been almost impossible, the sadness I feel in the hours leading up to parting from Baby H has been immense.

My baby has felt it too, her cuddles last much longer and she squeezes tighter than before, she knows she's loved and she loves in return. It makes me realise that we have an incredible bond, one that may have been difficult to feel at first, but was always there and I know now that we were always closer than I'd thought.

Counselling sessions have been a huge help in easing the weight of returning to work, Zoe has empathised with my worries and concerns and I've felt really supported. There are only 3-4 sessions left with Zoe; I was worried that I'd be feeling a bit lost once they came to an end but I'm actually feeling quite strong. Going back to work is a huge hurdle that I'm working hard to overcome in our sessions, but with the support I've received already and my growing sense of confidence and strength, I think I'll be ok.