Telling the truth

A lot can be said for honesty. But being honest is hard, or rather finding the words to be so is. I've learned that it's difficult to articulate your thoughts and feelings effectively when in the throws of depression. For many of us, the talking needs to come after the storm passes.

I feel like my storm is beginning to die down, my journey of recovery hasn't been an easy start to finish. I've had to ride new storms when others have died down; feeling like it's over, then discovering it's not. If I could create a graph showing my PND journey, the highest point of depression would climax somewhere in the middle, when I'd started to recover. The beginning of my line would be a mediocre straight one to represent numbness and detachment. Dealing with feelings related to my depression came further down the line.

Now that things are clearer, the truth is also clear, especially now that I've dealt with the anger, disappointment and frustration that goes hand in hand with the truth. For me, telling the truth is easier now because I can see it, but I can also detach myself from it.

The truth of PND can be difficult to face, but giving it a voice can help too. This even reaches out to telling other people the truth, letting them know what is ok and what isn't. Creating boundaries that make you feel safe is perfectly reasonable in order to protect your mental well being. It's easy to forget your boundaries when you're lost and it's easy to forget to do what's right for you. Be honest with yourself and then be honest with everyone else. I realise the content of this entry could come across cryptic, but hopefully a fellow sufferer will be able to relate to my thoughts.

On a lighter note, the weight loss graph is still on the decline... a slow decline headed in the right direction! My current loss stands at 1st 4.5lb. I've never been this big before, but I've also never lost this much weight before. I guess it's an achievement! Maybe slow and steady wins the race afterall?