The cyber-bullying world of Mumsnet

I really must be growing more assertive to write such a controversial post as this, but I feel it's necessary. Put your babies sleep problems, teething troubles, pooing disasters into Google search and much of the time, you will be greeted by a list of posts from Mumsnet users. Click on the threads and you'll find a lot of helpful advice and anecdotes you can relate to, written by other mums. However, you will also find replies from a bunch of critical women, waiting to take a pop at the next vulnerable, helpless mummy.

In the thick of PND, I'd relate back to the poster seeking help, then read the critical posts pointing out everything the poster was doing 'wrong' and use their comments as a stick for punishing myself. I must do better. These are 'supportive' mums, the experts, posting here to help other mums, they have the answers right? Wrong.

The day came that I published my own thread to ask for advice on managing finances once my maternity pay came to an end. I was met, no I was hounded with negativity pretty much straight away.  Firstly, one woman wanted to know why I hadnt returned to work yet if I was worrying about finances and also wanted to know why I was planning on returning to work part-time, surely it was a 'bad idea'. Being in a better place than I was 6months ago, I was able to step back and realise that this question was irrelevant and none of her business, I didn't respond.

I was then questioned as to why my partner and I weren't married by another poster who then went on to describe the awful foundations we had laid for our child having not have gotten married before she was born. I politely asked her to post elsewhere and explained I found such comments unhelpful. Soon came similar comments made by other posters, possibly made by the same poster in different guises as I've since discovered that it's possible to change your username and post as a different poster on the same thread.

Some women warned that I had put myself in a very vulnerable position by putting my career on hold whilst living happily un-married to the father of my child, fears that had never even crossed my mind. Women that knew very little about my circumstances or background to my relationship divulged all sorts of sinister conclusions on my personal life, which left me feeling lost, alone and scared. I cried myself to sleep that night as my partner lay next to me, oblivious to the frightening thoughts that were running through my head.

Mumsnet is supposed to be a supportive forum, a place to seek advice from other expert mummies. You will find women you can reach out to on Mumsnet, however you will also discover nasty women who will pick apart every last discrepancy in your problem or story; I've witnessed women pounce on posters' grammar, on the words they choose, on the way they personally choose to live their lives. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by many supportive mummies in the real world, but the cyber world is a platform for the competitive, bitter, nasty women who wait for vulnerable bait behind the comfort of a computer screen. As parents, we spend our time protecting our children from adversity, inequality and evil in the world; the media tells us about the dangers of cyber bullying and encourages us to teach our children to use the Internet respectively.

Go to Mumsnet and you will find grown-up cyber bullies prowling for vulnerable people like you. It saddens me that we can't rely on support from the networks with the expertise and knowledge to support us. It saddens me that some women are so sad about their own lives that they pick apart, scrutinise and trample on the lives and feelings of other women. So much for female solidarity.

My advice: Stay away from Mumsnet.